Text 13 Oct 10 Habits of Happy Couples

10 Habits Of Happy Couples

Here’s the link to the story, too: 

http://www.lifebuzz.com/happy-couples/

Dr. Mark Goulston is psychiatrist, international speaker, and best selling author of books such as Just Listen: Discover the Secret to getting Through to Absolutely Anyone, The 6 Secrets of a Lasting Relationship: How to Fall in Love Again…and Stay ThereREAL INFLUENCE: Persuade Without Pushing and Gain Without Giving In, Get Out of Your Own Way, and Get Out of Your Own Way at Work. 

His post 10 Habits of Happy Couples offers valuable tips to will help you improve your relationship.

Happy couples know that the real relationship begins when the honeymoon is over. They know that unless you maintain the garden of love, its beauty will wither and die.

#1. Go to bed at the same time.
Remember the beginning of your relationship, when you couldn’t wait to go to bed with each other to make love? Happy couples resist the temptation to go to bed at different times. They go to bed at the same time, even if one partner wakes up later to do things while their partner sleeps. And when their skins touch it still causes each of them to tingle and unless one or both are completely exhausted to feel sexually excited.

#2. Cultivate common interests.
After the passion settles down, it’s common to realize that you have few interests in common. But don’t minimize the importance of activities you can do together that you both enjoy. If common interests are not present, happy couples develop them. At the same time, be sure to cultivate interests of your own; this will make you more interesting to your mate and prevent you from appearing too dependent.

#3. Walk hand in hand or side by side.
Rather than one partner lagging or dragging behind the other, happy couples walk comfortably hand in hand or side by side. They know it’s more important to be with their partner than to see the sights along the way.

#4. Make trust and forgiveness your default mode.
If and when they have a disagreement or argument, and if they can’t resolve it, happy couples default to trusting and forgiving rather than distrusting and begrudging.

#5. Focus more on what your partner does right than what he or she does wrong.
If you look for things your partner does wrong, you can always find something. If you look for what he or she does right, you can always find something, too. It all depends on what you want to look for. Happy couples accentuate the positive.

#6. Hug each other as soon as you see each other after work.
Our skin has a memory of “good touch” (loved), “bad touch” (abused) and “no touch” (neglected). Couples who say hello with a hug keep their skin bathed in the “good touch,” which can inoculate your spirit against anonymity in the world.

#7. Say “I love you” and “Have a good day” every morning.
This is a great way to buy some patience and tolerance as each partner sets out each day to battle traffic jams, long lines and other annoyances.

#8. Say “Good night” every night, regardless of how you feel.
This tells your partner that, regardless of how upset you are with him or her, you still want to be in the relationship. It says that what you and your partner have is bigger than any single upsetting incident.

#9. Do a “weather” check during the day.
Call your partner at home or at work to see how his or her day is going. This is a great way to adjust expectations so that you’re more in sync when you connect after work. For instance, if your partner is having an awful day, it might be unreasonable to expect him or her to be enthusiastic about something good that happened to you.

#10. Be proud to be seen with your partner.

Happy couples are pleased to be seen together and are often in some kind of affectionate contact — hand on hand or hand on shoulder or knee or back of neck. They are not showing off but rather just saying that they belong with each other.

Happy couples have different habits than unhappy couples. A habit is a discrete behavior that you do automatically and that takes little effort to maintain. It takes 21 days of daily repetition of a new a behavior to become a habit. So select one of the behaviors in the list above to do for 21 days and voila, it will become a habit…and make you happier as a couple. And if you fall off the wagon, don’t despair, just apologize to your partner, ask their forgiveness and recommit yourself to getting back in the habit.

If there was one key to happiness in love and life and possibly even success it would be to go into each conversation you have with this commandment to yourself front and foremost in your mind, “Just Listen” and be more interested than interesting, more fascinated than fascinating and more adoring than adorable.

Credit: Mark Goulston

Photo 27 Sep Message of the Day: Don’t waste too much precious time worrying about things from the past that you can’t change. (at Sacremento California)

Message of the Day: Don’t waste too much precious time worrying about things from the past that you can’t change. (at Sacremento California)

Photo 2 Sep Check out my latest article (pg 52) in the September issue of Max Sports and Fitness magazine. Can’t find a copy? Here’s the link: www.icloudmedia.com/t/27551
#MSF #maxmuscle #fitness #healthylifestyles

Check out my latest article (pg 52) in the September issue of Max Sports and Fitness magazine. Can’t find a copy? Here’s the link: www.icloudmedia.com/t/27551
#MSF #maxmuscle #fitness #healthylifestyles

Text 11 Jul 19 Things the Millionaire Next Door Won’t Tell You…

image

http://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-act-like-a-millionaire-2013-8#!HIQPv

19 Things the Millionaire Next Door Won’t Tell You

By Len Penzo

Although having a million bucks isn’t as impressive as it once was, it’s still nothing to sneeze at.

In fact, Reuters reports that in 2009 there are 7.8 million millionaires in the United States. That’s a lot of people and the odds are one or two of them are living near you.

Heck, one of them might even be your neighbor. In fact, the odds are very good that it is your neighbor.

But, Len, you don’t know my neighbor.  That guy doesn’t look anything like a millionaire.

Well, guess what? A millionaire who is truly financially savvy won’t be easily recognizable. 

1. He always spends less than he earns.  In fact his mantra is, over the long run, you’re better off if you strive to be anonymously rich rather than deceptively poor.

2. He knows that patience is a virtue. The odds are you won’t become a millionaire overnight.  If you’re like him, your wealth will be accumulated gradually by diligently saving your money over multiple decades.

3.  When you go to his modest three-bed two-bath house, you’re going to be drinking Folgers instead of Starbucks.  And if you need a lift, well, you’re going to get a ride in his ten-year-old economy sedan.  And if you think that makes him cheap, ask him if he cares.  (He doesn’t.)

4. He pays off his credit cards in full every month.  He’s smart enough to understand that if he can’t afford to pay cash for something, then he can’t afford it.

5. He realized early on that money does not buy happiness.  If you’re looking for nirvana, you need to focus on attaining financial freedom.

6. He never forgets that financial freedom is a state of mind that comes from being debt free.  Best of all, it can be attained regardless of your income level.

7. He knows that getting a second job not only increases the size of your bank account quicker but it also keeps you busy – and being busy makes it difficult to spend what you already have.

8. He understands that money is like a toddler; it is incapable of managing itself.  After all, you can’t expect your money to grow and mature as it should without some form of credible money management.

9. He’s a big believer in paying yourself first. Paying yourself first is an essential tenet of personal finance and a great way to build your savings and instill financial discipline.

10. Although it’s possible to get rich if you spend your life making a living doing something you don’t enjoy, he wonders why you do.  Life is too short.

11.  He knows that failing to plan is the same as planning to fail.  He also knows that the few millionaires that reached that milestone without a plan got there only because of dumb luck.   It’s not enough to simply declare that you want to be financially free.

12. When it came time to set his savings goals, he wasn’t afraid to think big.  Financial success demands that you have a vision that is significantly larger than you can currently deliver upon.

13. Over time, he found out that hard work can often help make up for a lot of financial mistakes – and you will make financial mistakes.

14. He realizes that stuff happens, that’s why you’re a fool if you don’t insure yourself against risk. Remember that the potential for bankruptcy is always just around the corner and can be triggered from multiple sources: the death of the family’s key bread winner, divorce, or disability that leads to a loss of work.

15. He understands that time is an ally of the young.  He was fortunate enough to begin saving in his twenties so he could take maximum advantage of the power of compounding interest on his nest egg.

16. He knows that you can’t spend what you don’t see.  You should use automatic paycheck deductions to build up your retirement and other savings accounts.  As your salary increases you can painlessly increase the size of those deductions.

17. Even though he has a job that he loves, he doesn’t have to work anymore because everything he owns is paid for – and has been for years.

18. He’s not impressed that you drive an over-priced luxury car and live in a McMansion that’s two sizes too big for your family of four.

19. After six months of asking, he finally quit waiting for you to return his pruning shears.  He broke down and bought himself a new pair last month.  There’s no hard feelings though; he can afford it.

So that’s it.  Now you know what your millionaire neighbor won’t tell you.



Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-act-like-a-millionaire-2013-8#ixzz37BOrUK5p

Photo 24 Jun 

Ok, as a parent, I am guilty of many of these examples.  This is a great read and concepts that I will now incorporate as a parent to be a better parent.

Here’s the link: http://wearethatfamily.com/2014/03/9-things-we-should-get-rid-of-to-help-our-kids/
9 Things We Should Get Rid of to Help Our Kids
March 16, 2014 by Kristen

She borrowed something from me.
And then she lost it.
Accidents happen.
But it was the whole “It only cost ten bucks-you can get another one” attitude that I couldn’t let happen a moment longer.
So, I gave her a job that required hard work and gave her the $10 she earned and then I made her pay me for what she lost.
Listen, when I realized I was more than half the problem in this whole entitlement parenting challenge, it was a wake up call. Kids naturally want what they haven’t earned, especially if we are handing it out for free.

But what we have is an entire generation of young adults who got everything they ever wanted with little or no work; we have a cultural norm and it’s a problem.
Because reality is, life doesn’t give us everything we want. We don’t always get the best jobs or a job at all. We don’t always have someone rescue us when we have a bad day or replace our boss just because we don’t like them. We can’t always have what we want when we want it. We aren’t always rewarded in life.
Here are 9 things we can get rid of to begin eliminating entitlement in our children:
1. Guilt: Often we give into our kid’s requests out of guilt. We need to stop feeling guilty for not giving our kids everything they want. It’s hard to swallow, but we foster the attitude of entitlement in our homes when we are ruled by a guilty conscience. It’s okay to ask kids to be responsible for what they lose and to require consequences for actions.
2. Overspending: I think it’s good for our kids to hear us say, “We can’t afford that” Or “We will have to save for it.” Because that’s real life. We don’t have All The Money to Buy All the Things. I’ve known families before who are working multiple jobs to keep kids in extracurricular activities, when honestly, the kids would probably be happier with more family time.
3. Birthday Party Goody Bag (Mentality)-I’ve been guilty of this like most of us. But, really? We take our kids to parties so they can give a gift, but they take a small one home so they won’t feel bad? It’s not their birthday. This concept of spoiling kids (which usually goes far beyond goody  bags) is temporary fun. It’s okay for them not to be the center of attention.
4. Making our day-week-month, our world about our kids-Working in the non-profit world has redirected our extra time. We simply can’t center our lives around our children when we are centering our lives around Christ. Child-centered homes don’t help children in the long-run.
5. The desire to make our children happy (all the time). If you visited my house, you’d find out pretty quickly that someone’s always unhappy. It’s not our job to keep our kids happy. Don’t carry that impossible burden. Typically when our kids are unhappy, it’s because we are standing our ground. And that makes for much healthier kids in the future.
6. Made Up Awards: You know what I’m talking about. Rewarding everyone who participates in every area only fosters an inflated self esteem. Kids don’t need rewards for every little thing. It’s okay to lose, they learn through failure as much as success.
7. Fixing all their problems: I don’t like to see my kids struggling. There’s a part of every parent that longs to make things right in their child’s world. But it’s not healthy to create a false reality. You won’t always be there to do so and not only that, if you’re doing it all for your child, why would they need to learn to do it themselves? Fixing all their problems is really only creating more challenges in the future.
8. Stuff: We could all probably fill a half dozen trash bags with just stuff. Excess. Try it. Bag it up and get your kids to help you and give it to someone who needs it.
9. Unrealistic Expectations: My girls are always asking for manicures. I didn’t have one until I was married, pregnant and 27 years old. I’m not opposed to the occasional treat, but it’s the attitude of expecting it because you as a parent or others have it. Just because I have an iPhone, doesn’t mean my children will get one. We don’t have to give our kids everything we have. It’s okay to make them wait for things in life.
It’s okay to toss out these things. Go ahead, give it a try.

Ok, as a parent, I am guilty of many of these examples.  This is a great read and concepts that I will now incorporate as a parent to be a better parent.

Here’s the link: http://wearethatfamily.com/2014/03/9-things-we-should-get-rid-of-to-help-our-kids/

9 Things We Should Get Rid of to Help Our Kids

She borrowed something from me.

And then she lost it.

Accidents happen.

But it was the whole “It only cost ten bucks-you can get another one” attitude that I couldn’t let happen a moment longer.

So, I gave her a job that required hard work and gave her the $10 she earned and then I made her pay me for what she lost.

Listen, when I realized I was more than half the problem in this whole entitlement parenting challenge, it was a wake up call. Kids naturally want what they haven’t earned, especially if we are handing it out for free.

But what we have is an entire generation of young adults who got everything they ever wanted with little or no work; we have a cultural norm and it’s a problem.

Because reality is, life doesn’t give us everything we want. We don’t always get the best jobs or a job at all. We don’t always have someone rescue us when we have a bad day or replace our boss just because we don’t like them. We can’t always have what we want when we want it. We aren’t always rewarded in life.

Here are 9 things we can get rid of to begin eliminating entitlement in our children:

1. Guilt: Often we give into our kid’s requests out of guilt. We need to stop feeling guilty for not giving our kids everything they want. It’s hard to swallow, but we foster the attitude of entitlement in our homes when we are ruled by a guilty conscience. It’s okay to ask kids to be responsible for what they lose and to require consequences for actions.

2. Overspending: I think it’s good for our kids to hear us say, “We can’t afford that” Or “We will have to save for it.” Because that’s real life. We don’t have All The Money to Buy All the Things. I’ve known families before who are working multiple jobs to keep kids in extracurricular activities, when honestly, the kids would probably be happier with more family time.

3. Birthday Party Goody Bag (Mentality)-I’ve been guilty of this like most of us. But, really? We take our kids to parties so they can give a gift, but they take a small one home so they won’t feel bad? It’s not their birthday. This concept of spoiling kids (which usually goes far beyond goody  bags) is temporary fun. It’s okay for them not to be the center of attention.

4. Making our day-week-month, our world about our kids-Working in the non-profit world has redirected our extra time. We simply can’t center our lives around our children when we are centering our lives around Christ. Child-centered homes don’t help children in the long-run.

5. The desire to make our children happy (all the time). If you visited my house, you’d find out pretty quickly that someone’s always unhappy. It’s not our job to keep our kids happy. Don’t carry that impossible burden. Typically when our kids are unhappy, it’s because we are standing our ground. And that makes for much healthier kids in the future.

6. Made Up Awards: You know what I’m talking about. Rewarding everyone who participates in every area only fosters an inflated self esteem. Kids don’t need rewards for every little thing. It’s okay to lose, they learn through failure as much as success.

7. Fixing all their problems: I don’t like to see my kids struggling. There’s a part of every parent that longs to make things right in their child’s world. But it’s not healthy to create a false reality. You won’t always be there to do so and not only that, if you’re doing it all for your child, why would they need to learn to do it themselves? Fixing all their problems is really only creating more challenges in the future.

8. Stuff: We could all probably fill a half dozen trash bags with just stuff. Excess. Try it. Bag it up and get your kids to help you and give it to someone who needs it.

9. Unrealistic Expectations: My girls are always asking for manicures. I didn’t have one until I was married, pregnant and 27 years old. I’m not opposed to the occasional treat, but it’s the attitude of expecting it because you as a parent or others have it. Just because I have an iPhone, doesn’t mean my children will get one. We don’t have to give our kids everything we have. It’s okay to make them wait for things in life.

It’s okay to toss out these things. Go ahead, give it a try.

Text 20 Jun We Could Learn From This…Seriously

http://mic.com/articles/91279/japan-fans-did-what-no-other-soccer-fans-would-after-their-world-cup-team-lost?utm_source=policymicFB&utm_medium=main&utm_campaign=social

The news: When American fans win a major sporting event, they often like to celebrate by turning over cars and burning everything in sight. When Japanese teams lose, it turns out that fans commiserate by cleaning the stadium.

On Saturday, Japan lost its first World Cup match with the Ivory Coast by 2-1. While that could have been a demoralizing start for most sports enthusiasts, a bunch of Japanese fans who attended the event at Arena Pernambuco in Recife, Brazil decided to respond with an unbelievably classy move: cleaning up the stadium.

The team also displayed good form by bowing to the fans and thanking them for their support as clean-up began.

Why did they do this? Japanese sports fans — nicknamed the Blue Samurais — are famous for their cleaning etiquette. It’s customary for fans to clean up at events at home and they have demonstrated the practice at other World Cups before.

Photo 12 Apr Words of wisdom.

Words of wisdom.

Photo 2 Mar Found these 2 gems at the store today next to all the BBQ sauces and marinades and couldn’t resist! LOL 😂😂😂 Can’t wait to try them! #RubSomeButt #BoneSuckingSauce #BBQSauce

Found these 2 gems at the store today next to all the BBQ sauces and marinades and couldn’t resist! LOL 😂😂😂 Can’t wait to try them! #RubSomeButt #BoneSuckingSauce #BBQSauce

Photo 13 Dec So excited for this game! Central Catholic vs. McClymonds of Oakland for the Division 4 Northern California Championships. If we win this one, we go to State! Go Raiders! #football #WE

So excited for this game! Central Catholic vs. McClymonds of Oakland for the Division 4 Northern California Championships. If we win this one, we go to State! Go Raiders! #football #WE

Photo 12 Dec So proud of you @samoanstuntman 👍👍👍”Go Big or Go Home” ~ The Hollywood Stuntman 
SAG Nomination: 
OUTSTANDING ACTION PERFORMANCE BY STUNT ENSEMBLE MOTION PICTURE. Very proud of my family and incredible stuntman, Tanoai Reed @samoanstuntman & the FAST AND FURIOUS stunt team for this accomplishment. Our stunt brothers & sisters - truly the unsung heroes and backbone of Hollywood. #Family #StuntsUnlimited #BrandX #ScreenActorsGuild #Respect” via @TheRock

So proud of you @samoanstuntman 👍👍👍”Go Big or Go Home” ~ The Hollywood Stuntman
SAG Nomination:
OUTSTANDING ACTION PERFORMANCE BY STUNT ENSEMBLE MOTION PICTURE. Very proud of my family and incredible stuntman, Tanoai Reed @samoanstuntman & the FAST AND FURIOUS stunt team for this accomplishment. Our stunt brothers & sisters - truly the unsung heroes and backbone of Hollywood. #Family #StuntsUnlimited #BrandX #ScreenActorsGuild #Respect” via @TheRock


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